Tuesday, April 19, 2016

I have a built in best friend

I've met so many people in the last 4 years traveling from Texas to Ohio to Georgia and back to Texas.  I have also 'met' people via this blog and other forms of social media. God Bless social media and the way people vent publicly about marriage. Ouchie.  I sometimes feel extremely shocked by the way people treat their spouses.  The lack of respect, the insecurities, and putting the kids first.  You may disagree and that is fine, but in my opinion the marriage should come first and then the children.

Let me start by saying my marriage is not perfect. We have had bumps in the road, um hello we have moved more times in 4 years than I can stand to admit. Packing and moving will strengthen a marriage y'all!  I am not perfect and Gary is not perfect.  There IS no perfect person in this universe.  The way we are together is perfect for us and our situation.  He is a reflection of the way I treat him and I am a reflection of the way he treats me.  I believe that people see us together and think we come together quite nicely.  Our kids see this too because we act the same way at home as we do when we are out with friends and family.

We were friends first and we still are friends.  I would do anything for him and I know he would do anything for me.  It takes work.  It's hard and from what I've noticed some people don't want to put in that kind of work.  It is crazy to me how hard people work at their job and bettering their career, but they don't take the time to get to know their spouse as their best friend.  Mommas work so hard trying to become the perfect mom, but don't take the time to be the perfect wife.  Sadly, the kids leave and then that momma is stuck at home with a man she doesn't know at age 52.  A friend once told me she'd hang in there until the kids graduated from high school and then she'd be gone.  Well, that is another 10 years.  Imagine how wonderful her marriage would be if she started working now and then in 10 years she wouldn't have to leave to find another man to find out he isn't perfect either.

I love that I have a built in best friend.  We don't always see eye to eye.  We have different views on lots of things.  We get into heated discussions.  Our kids hear us sometimes and we let them listen in to some of our conversations.  They know we disagree at times and by listening to us they understand that marriage isn't perfect but we all learn how to communicate.  We learn to compromise.  We learn to be respectful and gracious.

I try to keep Just Shy of a Y a happy place.  It is a place for family fun, food and memories.  That being said, I don't want my kids to think life is all roses and rainbows, but I want them to know that their mom and dad work to build a solid foundation.  We work to be a good example of what marriage should look like. In every area of life our kids watch us.  They mimic us.  I want our babies to know what marriage is about and how it should work.  Mostly I want Layla to know how she should be treated and I want Hayden to know how to treat his future wife.  As parents we want them to have a best friend to grow old with some day.  

"Always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself; not whats left over after you have given your best to everyone else."  found on pint-er-est.

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