Friday, May 28, 2010

Six years ago today

our family lost an amazing man.  

I can't believe that it has already been six years.  

I think grieving just gets harder as the years go by.  
I really miss Gary's dad, Gary and I both do.  
He died and we still have unanswered questions about his death.  

I think we will always ask why?  

Layla and Hayden will never know their Pa Paw.  He died before they were born.  Layla asks about him.  But sadly she will never know his silly smile and sweet heart.  

He was a worker.  Night and day he worked his fingers to the bone.

Every Sunday he rested.  
We ALWAYS ate a huge steak lunch.  He grilled them EVERY Sunday.  
We ate steaks with huge baked potatoes and baked beans on top of the potatoes.  
We watched Nascar every Sunday it was on TV.  

To this day I still eat beans on my potato and LOVE me some Nascar.  
I think it is my way to hold onto him. 
He always gave me heck for cheering for Jimmie Johnson.

 We loved to kid around and get into the races. 
We enjoyed the rivalry and competitiveness.  
The passion for wanting our guy to win.  So even though I wasn't a Nascar fan before I met Gary and his family...I am now proud to watch!  

It helps me grieve.

My uncle died when I was a freshman in college, and my grandfather passed away soon after.  They died so long ago and today I still have a hard time with it.  I just want to know them better.  I have so many childhood memories hanging out with my Uncle and Grandfather.  They were father and son, so I usually spent time with the both of them at the same time.  I was too young to really appreciate the time I had with them.  I love to camp and be outdoors...I wish I could have enjoyed those things now with two men that also loved the outdoors.  I get my love of outdoor activities from both of these men!

I was older when I met Gary's dad.  You know, old enough to know that parents were right about so many things.  Old enough to appreciate advice.  I was becoming friends with my parents and Gary's parents.  When I met him the unruly twenty year old was growing up .  I was at 'that' time in my life.  
So it is hard for me.  I grieve for a man that was not only my husbands father, but my friend. He helped me in my twenties when I was growing up.

Today I will grieve and stand beside my handsome husband while we remember his amazing dad.  I can't imagine loosing my dad.
Gary is strong and has handled this death in the only way he knows how.  
We all grieve in different ways.  I'm not done yet, my heart hurts more as the years pass.  But holding onto the things that I loved about all three of these men is getting me through.

How do you grieve?  


Kelli W said...

I don't think I'm very good at grieving, but you are right that we all grieve in our own ways. I hope you spend today thinking about all the great memories you have!

Diana Ferguson said...

I have had to do it one day at a time.

Kelli said...

Sounds like he was a great man! I try and remember to treasure the memories. And sometimes a good cry does me good.

Emily said...

It is hard to loose someone you love. I still miss my Granddaddy and he passed away 16 years ago.

Unknown said...

this is precious angie.
i had tears as i was reading.
your love for you FIL is evident.

grieving is so difficult.
we all do it different and in our own time.

it's so so hard losing someone you love....the good times and memories are great to have.

thinking of you all today...

Home's Where My Heart Is said...

He sounds like an amazing man. I am so sorry for your loss. I think as the years go by it gets harder sometimes because we miss them being in our lives.

It will be 2 years in August that a really good friend of mine died. I think I miss her everyday. Just yesterday I saw a car like hers and looked anyway, even though I knew it wasn't her.

I have to say, Angie, the things you said about Gary's Dad were beautiful, a lovely tribute and just shows what a wonderful man he was. Thanks for sharing.

Hope you have a blessed day,

Unknown said...

I'm thinking of you guys!
I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose a parent. The thought actually scares the pants off of me.
I don't know what i will do when I get to that point in my life...
I am praying for you guys today though - it's always so good to remember all the happy times. Keep the advice, the jokes, and all those other positive things alive - I think that's an honor to their memory!!

beckylbranch said...

I am so not good at grieving. I just try to remember the best times I had with that person and not remember them towards the end when they suffer. I just know we have something to look forward to when we see them in Heaven someday! He sounded like a wonderful man :)

Heather said...

I'm so sorry Angie! Thinging about y'all and praying for y'all today! I know it's so hard friend.

Jenny said...

Your FIL sounds like an amazing man. Loss is so hard and you are right, grieving seems to get harder as the years go on.
I will have to try the beans on a potato!

Cindy said...

Wow what an amazing man you father in law was. Feel blessed to have known him. Treasure your memories. I should know b/c my mom died, hit by a car, almost 29 yrs ago, when I was 7. I still grieve for her. 2 yrs ago on the anniversary of her death I had a really hard time b/c I was 34, the age she was when she died. I miss her terribly and wish I had more memories. I remember being jealous of everyone b/c they remembered her so much better than me since I was the youngest. She is still in my thoughts everyday. I know I have a very special angel watching over me and my family.