Tuesday, May 17, 2011

let it shine

I am sitting here thinking about the fact that I am going to be 35 years old in 17 days. AND in a couple of months I will have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Whoaaa! Maybe I should start using anti-wrinkle cream. 

I am not the best parent ever, I make mistakes, don't we all?  But thinking back to 10 years ago, I was newly married and didn't want to have kids at all.  I'm not sure why, but I was the selfish and insecure career woman type.  I moved to the big city, got a fun job in the optical industry and was really happy with Gary and our dogs.  

The day I called all my best friends to tell them I was pregnant, they were both stunned and thrilled.  From the moment I saw the two pink lines I knew I was meant to be a mom.  I also knew I wanted to stay home to raise my kids.  This is what I wanted from the beginning!  I love my SAHM  job.  Even though I need wrinkle cream...haha!

The thing that amazes me is the person I have become.  If I could have one wish I'd wish for every 'almost 35' year old woman to feel as I do. I think this realization is because of age. I know so many unhappy young ladies, struggling to find who they are.  

It isn't about the house you live in, or the car you drive, or even the purse you carry.  It is about what is on the inside.  I finally get that.  It took years, but I realize I can't control what people say or think about me.  You know what?  I am good with it!!  I know what I think about myself, and that really is all that matters.  I don't have to answer to the crazies...I have to answer to myself and God.   I'm so thankful for a God that forgives when I mess up.  I make mistakes in life and parenting, but I have help from above.  

I know you are wondering the reason for this post...what is all this jibber jabber about?

It is about this bible verse that slapped me in the face at church a few weeks ago.  I think it is my new favorite verse.  It is about seeking to be a voice of HOPE!

Matthew 5:14-16
You are the light of the world.  A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.  Instead they put it on it's stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Isn't that the best verse ever?  

How about you?  Are you where you want to be?  
Are you letting your light shine?  
I can tell you one thing...I couldn't do this life/parenting thing without my church and my relationship with God.  


LeAnna said...

So, so, so good, girl. I know many an unhappy young Mom who is miserable, and it is SO sad. I'm so thankful I only need to be who HE wants me to be, because He fully equips us for our purpose, we don't need to wander aimlessly trying to figure it out.

Anywho, A to the men, sister! So glad you've found confidence in Him to love who you are! Imperfections and all. Inspires me! Tho, really, you don't need no stinkin' wrinkle cream. ;)

Red Stethoscope said...

Hi Angie,

What a great post! I found it reassuring in many ways.

First, you look nothing like 35, so I think you've got a few more years before you have to buy the wrinkle cream! If anything, I thought you were closer to my age (28) and that per usual, I was behind on the learning curve. I think we all get into that mentality sometimes, where we're thinking, "Crap. That person has their life so much more together than me!"So anyway, yay for stability and perspective arriving at 35 (I will be looking forward to that).

Also, no, I am not where I want to be in life. In my mental life timeline, I thought I'd be done with medical school, married, and thinking about babies at this point. Obviously, I'm not married (and the dating pool has not been successful). I am also just a baby medical student with years (YEARS!) to go.

I try to remind myself of God's plan, though, so thanks also for the verse. We're all on our own schedules, based on what God wants or needs us to learn in our relationship with him. I have no idea why things have worked out this way, but most days, I try to go with it and trust.

Anyway, I'm kind of rambling now, but I just wanted to tell you that you are an inspirational SAHM, blogger, and person! I love reading your thoughts and keeping up with your family. So, bring on 35! I'm so glad that you are happy where you are! :)

Kelli W said...

I think I need some anti-wrinkle cream too and I'm only 30:) Seriously though, that is an awesome verse! Sometimes I think I am doing great and then sometimes I think God must be looking down at me thinking what in the world is she doing! And yeah I learned the hard way not to worry about what all the crazies think or say about you! And really you didn't want to have kids?!? You are an awesome momma, and I'm sure Layla and Hayden would agree with me:)

Jocelyn said...

You have no need for wrinkle cream girl! You look fabulous! I absolutely loved this post!!! I think it is awesome that you are ok with who you are and are giving God all the glory for it!!! WOO HOO!!!

Kelsey Claire said...

Such a beautiful post!!!! You are an amazing women inside and out! Your kids are blessed to have you!

Anonymous said...

I defiantly need wrinkle cream.. and I'm 25! That's what happens when you live in a Desert Wasteland with 0 humidity. Woes me.

Such a great post! I long to find that security and confidence someday!

Amber said...

Angie! I love this post! You are so awesome, and you're right - it is about what's on the inside. We ALL need to realize that. Thanks for pointing it out to those of us who need it :)

Laura@The Oily Cupboard said...

i know what you mean. i've never once had to wonder who i am ...or where i'm going. this is the job God made with me in mind...i guess another reason i keep having them. hey they are like my wrinkle cream...they keep me feeling young and sprite like ...mirrors are not needed here! :o)

great verse

Lyryn said...

GREAT POST! You are an inspiration! I love you! First... you don't look like you are going to be 35 AT ALL! You look amazing and second... I love your heart! Living for HIM and your family. SO INSPIRING!

Jill said...

Maybe it's a "turning 35" thing, but I've been having the same thoughts as you. And it's ironic that you included that verse from Matthew because I just read that the other day. It's such a great verse! I, too, thought I didn't want kids. I wanted to live in a high-rise apartment in New York or something. God had very different plans, and I'm so glad I didn't end up with that self-centered life that I once thought I wanted. By the way, I LOVE your new hair! Makes me wanta chop mine off! :-)

Perfectly Jenn said...

Thank you for such honest words! I never wanted kids as much as I do now and I can only hope that is God's plan for me as well.
I love reading your mom stories and tweets and please know that you are an inspiration to me

Lauren said...

I think this is my favorite post of yours Angie. So much truth in it. Being a young woman in my 20s who is still trying to figure out who I am, it really spoke to me! Thank you!

Hattie said...

Great post! You are so blessed! Let your light shine bright!!! Woohoo!!!

Unknown said...

What a beautiful post Angie!!
I love it... and sometimes I think that I'm not where I want to be in my life, and then I look at my beautiful children and know that I am blessed beyond words :)

Anonymous said...

Love this post! I just celebrated my 40th(yikes, that doesn't even sound right) and life is good! With age comes understanding of people and their actions and life in general...something I love! It's also amazing how we go from not being sure about having kids to not being able to imagine life without them!!!
Cheers to 35!

Kelli said...

I absolutely adore this post! I'm working on getting where I think would have me to be and man is it a process...good thing we have Him helping us along the way. That verse if definitely something to meditate on.

Molly said...

What a beautiful post! God's timing is always perfect, whether you think it is at the time or not. You've got an amazing life, and are truly blessed!

When I read your question "are you letting your light shine?" it made me think of The David Crowder Band's song Shine! LOVE that song!


Traci said...

Angie, this is a great post. I've finally let go & embraced the fact that God's plan is infinitely more important than what I thought my life would be. It only took 37.5 years! Of course there are times when I don't understand why things worked out like they did but I'm truly the happiest I've ever been. God knows what he's doing right???