Monday, January 30, 2012

you do what you do and they do what they do

As the mom of two beautiful kids I have learned to not compare kids.  It was not easy and sometimes I slip up, but for my sanity it had to stop.  I try not to compare my kids to each other and I try not to compare my kids to other kids.  

My kids are completely different.  

For example: Layla was a great baby.  She was easy to sleep train, she was an early talker but physically she was lazy.  Hayden was a cry baby.  He cried for the first 6 months of his life.  When he wasn't sleeping, which he actually loved to do, he was crying.  He hardly ever said a word but lifted his head up 2 days after we brought him home from the hospital.  

He was completely different than his sister.  

Another example:  Layla drank formula until she was 12 months old.  Hayden hated formula and was drinking regular milk and eating solids at 6 months old.  He stopped crying all the time when he got 'real' food.

Why am I telling you this?  

As a mom of 2 kids, ages 6 and 3, I have learned you can't compare the two children.  I think it is human nature to compare kids.  

I also think it is human nature to compare moms to each other and to other moms....

Why don't I look like her?  Why is her house so clean?  Why does she drive that car?  Why do her kids sleep and mine don't? 

Why are we wasting the effort comparing ourselves to one another?  

We are who we are and God has us in this stage of life for a reason.  There will be lows and highs.  We all need to realize that.  I have let go of so much stress simply by NOT comparing myself to another mother or person.

It is hard for some of us to see the neighbor down the street that has a 4000 square foot home.  If we aren't in the same financial status as them, do we want the mortgage they pay?  Just because their house looks nice and big doesn't mean their life is any better.  Just because they have a Lexus parked in the driveway doesn't mean they are rich.  They may be struggling to pay for that gorgeous car and their marriage may be suffering because the husband is always at work to pay for that car.

We shouldn't compare our lives to the lives of someone else.  We just don't know what is going on inside their lives.  Let's focus on ourselves!

I think being confident in who we are and what we are doing comes with age.  

As a brand new mom I spent time when Layla was really little comparing her to another baby boy her age.  I didn't know any better.  I thought she should be doing the same things HE was doing.  Today both kids are great.  They are excelling in school and I feel silly thinking back to the wasted time I spent worrying about her development.  I totally stressed myself out worrying about why she wasn't walking when he was.  Those days of worry could have been days no stress, but I was wearing myself out with worry.

All this said for a reason... 

I have learned to focus on my family.  The four people in my house need my attention.  I need to be stress free and worry free so I can focus on our family.  I don't need to be worrying about things beyond my control.  I try not to worry about things that aren't my business.  When I am weak I say a prayer.  I pray that God reminds me to live in the moment and understand this is all happening for a reason and soon my "now" will be tomorrow. Life goes my so fast.  Be happy!

Andddd I am stepping down from my soap box now.

Source: via Angie on Pinterest

Have a great Monday!


Laura@The Oily Cupboard said...

Here Here

with soon to be 6 kids I can't even think about so and so's house. I only concern myself with my kids and what is going on for us!

aren't kids crazy!!!! lily sure does take the mold on my other 4.....though

Stacy @ Cardigans and Crayons said...

Great reminder!

Lauren said...

LOVE this post! I totally agree with you! I used to (and sometimes still) compare Mia to other kids. She should be doing this and not that, etc. You were so right when you said God has us in this stage of life for a reason! Embrace it! Great post girl!